I Met the Situation the Other Night

I met the Situation the other night, it was at my horrible, horrible supermarket job and I have been forever changed by it.
My shift at Acme started as they usually do, I clock in about 4 minutes late, stand at my register, withdrawing into the sanctuary of my deep subconscious and greet customers in what old ladies describe as a "game show host voice." Somewhere in there (I am not sure what time because I try not to look at clocks there, maybe 6:00ish) I looked up from my register while ringing up the last person to see an odd group of people walking in from the rain. I admit it, I scoffed at them, the big one in front was wearing a red, sleeveless hoodie with some sort of dragon design on it and all the rest were a nice combination of in need of a size guide, too much cleavage and the Sunday special at the spray tan place. Then the big guy in the red turned to me. "Hey, you got cigs in this place?" I replied with a "Yeah" and a nod to which he replied with "Alright, gimmie a back of Newports." Normally, the protocol in the Acme is for the customer to go to the Customer Service desk, fully equipped with a giant pipe shaped sign that says "Tobacco" and the manager at the desk will ring them up and hand over the cigarettes. Instead, I turned (as I usually do when the customer is already online when he/she wants smokes) and yelled to the manager to bring me a pack of Newports and while I waited for Alex the manager at the time to find her way down to register 5, I listened to what these odd characters had to say. Finally, Alex made it down to me, handed over the box which I then handed to the guy in red and rung him up for about 7 bucks and some change. He paid with debt, took the smokes, and walked out the door with the gaggle of lackeys following close behind and it was not until that moment when I turned around to make a Guido joke did I notice the slight excitement in every ones eyes. "Do you think that was really him?" Someone asked. Another saying "Why do you think he was up here?" Somewhat disappointed that my window for a joke was gone I asked who they were talking about and customer and employee alike said "You just rang up the Situation." I then did what any suburban high school kid who just met a reality TV star would do and texted anyone and everyone I know who would give a damn but something stuck with me from the experience. No, it wasn't that I touched the Situation's hand, it was the the subject of the conversation he had with his little posse.
They were talking about books, library books at that and were arguing about how long you can keep books out from the library. THE SITUATION READS my twitter update later read and a newly established hope for humanity was kindled with in me.
Prior to this, I noticed that maybe 8 out of every 23 kids in my high school would actually admit to reading the books assigned to us and a smaller 3 out of the same sized class would admit to reading for fun. I myself have been reading the New York Times (at least the A section and the magazine) every weekend morning since the 6th grade and usually go through one book a month (currently a biography of Jacques Cousteau.) Many including myself have deem reading as a dieing art and on many occasions I have suggested to my English teachers to have movies (good movies and not necessarily the film version of what is being read in class) taught side by side with books in order to increase class interest. The fact that this overly tan, muscle bound, bar fight scarred Italian guy from somewhere around here goes to the library made me think that maybe books could make a comeback. After all if you don't like what you are reading, you can always burn it (you cant do that with a Kindle.)

-COBRA COMMANDER